the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
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