Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
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