I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
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