Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Randomize
