I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
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