the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
Randomize
