i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize