Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
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