I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Randomize
