i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
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