Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Randomize
