What a fucking waste of an outfit
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
