DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
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