Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
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