Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
