So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
Success! We fucked roommates!
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Randomize
