I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
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