your room smells of hookers.
And success
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Randomize
