My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
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