I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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