it wasn't lemon gatorade
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Randomize
