stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Randomize
