Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
