she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
