from now on my penis is your penis
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
