Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
operation have a gay friend backfired
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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