I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
It's like God shit irony all over that family
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Randomize
