Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
