I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Randomize
