i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
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