Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
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