i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
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