I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Randomize
