good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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