i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
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