Operation Purity has been aborted
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
