Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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