i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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