Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
