I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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