69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
