Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
Randomize
