this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
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