i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
I wish life had little blips of pornography
it glows. i had to have it.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
