so that wasnt chicken after all
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
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