She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
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Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
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Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together