dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
What did we do last night that was yellow?
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING