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they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
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