He kissed a someone with a penis
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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