your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
Randomize
