Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
