If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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