i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
Randomize
