i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
Randomize
