There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
This baby is an asshole
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
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