ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
