Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
