I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
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